My last post mentioned some of my interests. Based on the title of the page (and this post and this post) you can guess I am into guns, as well. I'm also into cars. I'm not a gearhead or grease monkey, by any means. I just like cars.
Well, I like cars I can't afford. And I like listening to bumbling, sarcastic Brits prattling on about said cars I can't afford. So, naturally, I watch Top Gear.
And while Jeremy Clarkson may take the piss out of James May for getting overly pedantic regarding cars, engineering, physics, and design, it is entertaining because they DO IT TO BE ENTERTAINING. They are in on the joke. They expect you to be in on the joke. They expect the audience to understand the humor of a scraggly-haired car nerd at a white board describing the innards of a hovercraft.
Another example of Top Gear acknowledging their personal foibles is Clarkson going on about power, speed, and guns in his exuberant, pseudo-jingoistic manner (imagine a twelve-year-old with a monster truck fitted with rocket launchers and you will have a good idea).
Where I come to the point
So, I happen across a Top Gear video of Clarkson and May racing sport wagons on a biathlon course because of course they will. As part of this race, they do the shooting element of the course, firing the prone targets from inside the back of the car because of course they will. Clarkson, however, forgoes the standard Anschutz for a Heckler & Koch MP5 submachinegun because of course he does.
Let the theatrics commence. I can wait.
I showed the video to a friend. This led to questions about biathlon rifles. This led to biathlon, itself. I then happened across a great video produced by Sturm, Ruger & Co. Featuring Annelies Cook from the US biathlon team, the video shows a typical biathlon rifle and the use of it, including the unslinging and slinging (watch all of the various manual checks and manipulation a of covers). There is some awesome footage of the shooters, proper form, and discussions of how they do what they do.
Really good stuff there.
Abandon hope, all ye who enter here...
A mantra of mine regarding YouTube:
do not read the comments.
do not read the comments.
do not read the comments.
After viewing this video, I accidentally neglected my mantra. And this one time, it was gold.
Gun Guys in the audience will recognize some incorrect usage (clips, bullets, shells, and the like). As can be expected, some of "those guys" make an appearance on the comments lamenting the use of perceived incorrect terminology, America's lackluster biathlon performance in the Olympics, and what can only be described as a cross between "kids these days" and "get off my lawn!"
One of my fave Gun Guys - Steve Fjestad from Blue Book Publications
During my time as the Curator of the Cody Firearms Museum, one of my favorite activities was talking to Gun Guys. One of my least favorite activities was talking to Gun Guys...
The following dialogue from the YouTube comments on the Biathlon video (screen-capped for posterity) made my day. It involves BOTH types of gun guys.
David W. is my new Hero of the Interwebz.
He used his wittiness, knowledge, and snark to defend against the demons of pedantistry. As another associated the woman's use of firearms terminology with reasons behind how America sucks at biathlon, David W. kept his calm and poked the troll in such a manner that he started using all sorts of unrelated arguments (the supposed wealth of Olympians, his military experience, and the use of the word 'Libtard' - the hallmark of all well-planned defenses).
David W. won the internet.
In search of a common language
While watching this discourse, I began to ask myself why we cannot progress beyond this argument of pedantic terminology. I remember getting into arguments about this more than three decades ago - as a GRADE SCHOOLER!
I think we are at a point in the shooting world at which we can recognize that language is malleable. Language changes. Language moves. Language bends. Language becomes new.
Yes. A magazine and a clip are, pedantically, two different things.
Yes. A bullet and a shell and a cartridge are all different things.
But people (most people) use them interchangeably. Most of us (students of firearms history and related esoterica) prevent ourselves from getting the vapors when we hear someone describe how they load bullets into a clip. We stop ourselves from hollering at people "It's a Magazine!!!"
"Thank you. It's just that he was a gun collector and..."
The rest of the conversation usually pans out the same way. Almost every time. The husband had lots of guns - maybe 20, maybe 50, maybe 100, maybe more. He died. She didn't realize how many he had, what they are, what they are worth, and (most importantly) who to trust.
The reason I get this call is that some buddy of the late Mr. Hoplophile is nosing around, knows a little (or a lot) about the collection and wants to help the widow by giving her some money to help her out by buying one (or more) of the guns - with a pained expression and at a cost WELL below retail. I received calls like this about once or twice a month while I was the Curator at the Cody Firearms Museum. I still get them through friends and acquaintances now. Maybe I seem to be the trustable sort. Maybe it's the boyish good looks, maybe it's the glazed look and the paunch, I don't know.
The sad thing is that it is preventable. As fanatical as many of us are with our guns while we are alive, we sure don't seem to care much about when we're dead. This needs to change.
Why is it always the Gun Guys?
I'll tell you why. It's because we did all we could to beg, borrow, and steal to get them in the first place and we don't want the government (or anyone else for that matter) to take them from us.
Now. That guy isn't too far off from the truth. I have known... well... not this guy, but many like him. According to the American Firearms Institute (an organization devoted to defending gun rights) "there are 250 - 280 million firearms in the US" and "40 - 50% of US homes own a firearm, that's 120 - 150 million people". Easy math. that averages out to 2 per household in about half of the homes in America. However, as with most averages, there are outliers. I know many folks who own just one gun. I also know a couple guys who could outfit a small Latin American country, so long as they don't mind bolt actions from the two World Wars.
What is common amongst all of these people? They will not give up their gun(s) easily. If they are like this while they are alive, why do it when they are dead?
I don't know.
I don't know if it is a lack of planning, an unrealistic belief that they will always have time to divest themselves of the collection before they pass on, or just simply believing that it will work itself out on it's own as part of the rest of the estate. But it drives me crazy and tells me that they care more for their guns than they do for their wife and family.
T.C.B.!
Many gun owners arm themselves initially because they feel they need to TCB - Take Care of Business. This could be defending life and limb from an intruder or getting groceries through the barrel of a gun. However, we all protect ourselves and our families in other, less dramatic ways. Unless you are supporting your self solely on Social Security, you are taking care of business - financial business.
Elvis (Mr. TCB) and a few of his guns - note the Luger on the left and the suppressor on the top right
Think about it. We all plan in the boring, mundane, "Gee, I hope the economy doesn't tank again before I retire or die, taking my nest egg with it" way. We set up retirement plans, 401(k)s, investments, stocks, bonds, annuities, and all sorts of other things that make me fall asleep. Some of these guys have retirement plans that cover EVERYTHING - except their guns. No plan, no inventory, no appraisals (scrawling a list of 100% values from the Blue Book doesn't count). I don't get it. But I have come to terms that it happens. Every day.
If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail
Regardless of how you pass on, not having a plan for your guns is a bad, bad thing. Think about it. No matter how much warning you have, you cannot prepare. You die in your sleep of a heart attack (you eat red meat and stay off the treadmill, right?), you get an aneurysm on the floor of the gun show (we've all seen prices on guns that could lead to this...), or you stroke out on the golf course.
Just kidding. That last one never happens to gun guys. They stroke out during a round of Sporting Clays.
During any of those, there is no time to prepare. But that's OK, you have emphysema, ALS (I know way too much about that one now), or the big 'C'. I'll have plenty of time. Sure. Once you get past "Depression" and on to "Acceptance", you have a short window. By that time, though, you will be hip-deep in medical bills, clinic appointments, and last checks on your bucket list. There will be time to take care of the guns later - besides, you may get better. You're right. You might. Lots don't.
So. While you are still healthy, wealthy, and (hopefully) wise, here are some things to do to prep your collection for your demise, sudden or otherwise.
Inventory - Get a list with make, model, and serial number (separate from any bound book you may keep as an FFL or C&R). Tag the guns - you can use those little hangtags they sell at most office supply stores. For Pete's sake, no tape, no markers, no pens, pencils, sticky dots, or other adhesive badness.
Photograph - Get digital pictures of it all. Use a generic mount (you can use a range sled/sandbags with a nice cloth over the mount). Get both sides and necessary details (barrel address/sns are not necessary but inscriptions/engraving are). Have a card in frame showing make, model, and sn. Use decent lighting - a shop light behind the camera on the left and right should be good - prevents flash shadows. Use a tripod. Use a neutral background - not a plaid tablecloth. VERIFY that all of the pictures are clear.
Appraise - Get a legitimate appraisal. If it is a few nice guns, you can Blue Book it. Write it down. Again, record make, model, and serial number with the value, the source for your estimation, and why you think it fits in a certain grade/%. Depending on the size or value of your collection (and your insurer's limits), you may want to go to one of the major national GUN auction firms or a private appraiser. Repeat this at least every five years - or if something happened that would otherwise increase the value of your collection. Legitimate appraisers will charge you for their time, per gun, etc. If they charge a percentage, they benefit from high-balling your collection.
Insure - Theft, fire, or any number of other things can happen. Now that you know what you have, insure it. Most reputable companies have a firearms policy rider. Boost the limit to whatever you are willing to go to, not surpassing the value of the collection. If you think the value has gone up, get it reappraised and insure accordingly.
Secure - Keep it locked up. Keep it in a safe. Keep it in a locked display case. Keep it in a locked room. Ask a trusted (industrious) buddy to figure out how he would steal your guns. Fix what he would do. Why? Because someone will try to steal them (with a check or otherwise) after you are gone. Also - make sure someone trusted stays at the house while you are in the hospital or the casket.
Allocate - Figure out where they go. Now. Just like anything else in your will (the house, property, etc.), this should be established well before you are de-established. Which ones go to your son or daughter. Which ones go to which friends. Make conditions (with a list of prices) to allow private sales (helps with the 'buddy' mentioned above). ID which guns go to an auction house. Figure out which ones go to a museum. Figure out which ones go to other non-profits (If you plan to send them to the NRA, let the NRA know first).
Note on Museums - Make arrangements with any museum AHEAD of time. I have had to refuse gifts from the deceased because of conditions they set. There are things responsible museums cannot agree to, in good faith. I am certain they were small issues that could have been resolved simply through a discussion beforehand, but legal conditions are exactly that.
Organize - Keep all of the documentation on ALL of the above in hardcopy and on a USB thumb drive. Keep these in at least two places - with the guns and off site (safe deposit box if you have it).
I recognize that some of this appears to be expensive. That's because it is. Ask yourself how much you spend on investment counseling, overhead fees on your IRA, or your accountant. Now ask how much you are willing to spend to take care of your family in this way.
