After finally allaying the fears of my friends that something was wrong, I started to slowly dip my toe back into the pool of Facebook. It was a good, albeit weird, few weeks. I stepped back, took a few breaths, and realized that I don't have to do Facebook. Especially at the level I had been Facebooking. Keep in mind that I am someone who - for several years - had been telling friends in the museum field, "You HAVE GOT to be on Facebook!"
What an ass.
You don't have to be on Facebook. You don't have to be on any social media if you don't want to. Yes, these things can help to get certain things done. But they are tools. Tools have purposes. They vary from platform to platform. They vary from user to user. Figure out what you want and then use it.
Once I got over that, I relaxed a bit. I now log in, look around, like, comment, maybe post, and then log out. I can get more done of other things now. Yet I get to stay in contact with those who are important to me (Sometimes that contact takes the shape of simply lurking your posts).
That doesn't sound so intense!
Only because it's not.
It was/is everything else. I would say nothing much, and then I stand back and look at the whole. I am feeling that the big exhale is coming up but that is just because I feel like I have been holding my breath for the last few weeks.
Something that has been a spectre during this time of year is the anniversary of my mom's passing. We lost her to ALS four years ago (until recently, my most-viewed blog). As close as I was to her, I felt that I was dealing well. Until this year. There have been a few moments these past few months when I caught myself finally realizing I miss my mom. So with the anniversary coming up, there are thoughts. Time does not heal all wounds. Good huevos rancheros help. That or magnums of Berenger while eating taco chips...
Compounding this was the passing of our cat, Merley (мурлыкать). We had this little guy for most of 20 years. He was the youngest of our '50 pounds of cat'. Merley allowed us to live in his house for the last six years, having lost his buddies Caramel and Tigger to diabetes and cancer.
As much as they were all our cats, Merley was mine. I was the one who brought him into the house the first time. I named him, I was the one whose lap he went to. When I moved to the new job in November, he came with me as my roommate (well, he and the fish). He was the only thing that got me through living alone for two months. He was my little buddy. He flopped on my chest. He groomed my beard. He woke us at all hours with what one friend referred to as "The Cry of the Demon Cat." And he was my furry little buddy.
The last couple of weeks saw age catch up with him. One night last week, Merley passed away in his sleep. He is now somewhere annoying Caramel and Tigger with his pouncing and cuddling. But I can still hear him messing around in the house. That or we think of the doors we no longer have to close, the litter box that is no longer in the way, or the food and water we no longer have to refill. It's the small things, but that still fails to lessen the hurt.
While this was going on, my soccer fandom expanded by one team. Through watching John Green's FIFA 16 series playing the Wimbly Womblys, I was introduced to the story of AFC Wimbledon. With all of the attention on Leicester's rise from near relegation to champion of the Premiership, AFC Wimbledon's tale has received short shrift.
Fourteen years ago, the local community created AFC Wimbledon in response to the previous home club being moved to the town of Milton Keynes (46 miles as the crow flies). Starting with tryouts in the city park, the locals took pride in their 'phoenix' club. Starting in the 9th tier of the English Football League System, the Dons were promoted 5 times in 9 seasons. Finally arriving in League Two of the Football League, they saw a few rough seasons, near relegation, and a brilliant run of great play this past season.
Two weeks ago, AFC Wimbledon finished their regular season in 7th place on the table. This qualified them for a four-team playoff to determine the final club to be promoted to League One. After a win and a draw against Accrington Stanley, they received a date with Plymouth Argyle at Wembley Stadium. FREAKING Wembley Stadium. A club with a home grounds capacity of 4,850 (half standing) playing on a pitch surrounded by 90,000 seats...
This week, the club formed in 2002 beat Plymouth Argyle 2-0 and earned their promotion to the same league with the MK Dons - the team that used to be the team from Wimbledon. Being in the States, I had no easy way to watch the match. Twitter and several news feeds gave me the lowdown - but I still yelled out when Lyle Taylor scored - eliciting a "Daaaaaaad!!!" from TheGirl - and sang John Green's "Akenfenwa" song after the PK in 90'+10', laughing and crying as I did so. John Green - the guy who piqued my interest in the club was at the match and shared his experience in his vlog. At the end, I again started laughing and crying.@malls_co @johngreen @AFCWimblyWombly Nerdfighters singing he's big, he's round. And Akinfenwa scoring. Coincidence? pic.twitter.com/ujJzJ3R76Z— Klara (@chestofbooks) May 31, 2016
With the downs come a few ups.
I guess that is the point here. Nothing about guns. Nothing about being a liberal. Nothing about history - well except that bit about the Dons and their phoenix-like rise from the ashes.
This has been a weird Spring. Some house cleaning - mental and otherwise. Some drama - at home, online, in the world.
But there is good. Good for all of us. We just have to look for it. It doesn't just show up. Don't be lazy. Be active in seeking it out. Huevos rancheros, kitty hugs, or Cinderella stories. Be welcome to shed tears.
Just make sure to look for and embrace the happy.