Missing Things

Wow... this has been an intense few weeks... 

After finally allaying the fears of my friends that something was wrong, I started to slowly dip my toe back into the pool of Facebook.  It was a good, albeit weird, few weeks. I stepped back, took a few breaths, and realized that I don't have to do Facebook. Especially at the level I had been Facebooking. Keep in mind that I am someone who - for several years - had been telling friends in the museum field, "You HAVE GOT to be on Facebook!"

What an ass.

You don't have to be on Facebook. You don't have to be on any social media if you don't want to. Yes, these things can help to get certain things done. But they are tools. Tools have purposes. They vary from platform to platform. They vary from user to user. Figure out what you want and then use it.

Once I got over that, I relaxed a bit. I now log in, look around, like, comment, maybe post, and then log out. I can get more done of other things now. Yet I get to stay in contact with those who are important to me (Sometimes that contact takes the shape of simply lurking your posts).

That doesn't sound so intense!

Only because it's not.

It was/is everything else. I would say nothing much, and then I stand back and look at the whole. I am feeling that the big exhale is coming up but that is just because I feel like I have been holding my breath for the last few weeks.

Something that has been a spectre during this time of year is the anniversary of my mom's passing. We lost her to ALS four years ago (until recently, my most-viewed blog). As close as I was to her, I felt that I was dealing well. Until this year. There have been a few moments these past few months when I caught myself finally realizing I miss my mom. So with the anniversary coming up, there are thoughts. Time does not heal all wounds. Good huevos rancheros help. That or magnums of Berenger while eating taco chips...

---

Compounding this was the passing of our cat, Merley (мурлыкать). We had this little guy for most of 20 years. He was the youngest of our '50 pounds of cat'. Merley allowed us to live in his house for the last six years, having lost his buddies Caramel and Tigger to diabetes and cancer.

As much as they were all our cats, Merley was mine. I was the one who brought him into the house the first time. I named him, I was the one whose lap he went to. When I moved to the new job in November, he came with me as my roommate (well, he and the fish). He was the only thing that got me through living alone for two months. He was my little buddy. He flopped on my chest. He groomed my beard. He woke us at all hours with what one friend referred to as "The Cry of the Demon Cat." And he was my furry little buddy.

The last couple of weeks saw age catch up with him. One night last week, Merley passed away in his sleep. He is now somewhere annoying Caramel and Tigger with his pouncing and cuddling. But I can still hear him messing around in the house. That or we think of the doors we no longer have to close, the litter box that is no longer in the way, or the food and water we no longer have to refill. It's the small things, but that still fails to lessen the hurt.

---

While this was going on, my soccer fandom expanded by one team. Through watching John Green's FIFA 16 series playing the Wimbly Womblys, I was introduced to the story of AFC Wimbledon. With all of the attention on Leicester's rise from near relegation to champion of the Premiership, AFC Wimbledon's tale has received short shrift.

Fourteen years ago, the local community created AFC Wimbledon in response to the previous home club being moved to the town of Milton Keynes (46 miles as the crow flies). Starting with tryouts in the city park, the locals took pride in their 'phoenix' club. Starting in the 9th tier of the English Football League System, the Dons were promoted 5 times in 9 seasons. Finally arriving in League Two of the Football League, they saw a few rough seasons, near relegation, and a brilliant run of great play this past season.

Two weeks ago, AFC Wimbledon finished their regular season in 7th place on the table. This qualified them for a four-team playoff to determine the final club to be promoted to League One. After a win and a draw against Accrington Stanley, they received a date with Plymouth Argyle at Wembley Stadium. FREAKING Wembley Stadium. A club with a home grounds capacity of 4,850 (half standing) playing on a pitch surrounded by 90,000 seats...

@malls_co @johngreen @AFCWimblyWombly Nerdfighters singing he's big, he's round. And Akinfenwa scoring. Coincidence? pic.twitter.com/ujJzJ3R76Z

— Klara (@chestofbooks) May 31, 2016

This week, the club formed in 2002 beat Plymouth Argyle 2-0 and earned their promotion to the same league with the MK Dons - the team that used to be the team from Wimbledon. Being in the States, I had no easy way to watch the match. Twitter and several news feeds gave me the lowdown - but I still yelled out when Lyle Taylor scored - eliciting a "Daaaaaaad!!!" from TheGirl - and sang John Green's "Akenfenwa" song after the PK in 90'+10', laughing and crying as I did so.  John Green - the guy who piqued my interest in the club was at the match and shared his experience in his vlog. At the end, I again started laughing and crying.

The Upshot

With the downs come a few ups.

I guess that is the point here. Nothing about guns. Nothing about being a liberal. Nothing about history - well except that bit about the Dons and their phoenix-like rise from the ashes.

This has been a weird Spring. Some house cleaning - mental and otherwise. Some drama - at home, online, in the world.

But there is good. Good for all of us. We just have to look for it. It doesn't just show up. Don't be lazy. Be active in seeking it out. Huevos rancheros, kitty hugs, or Cinderella stories. Be welcome to shed tears.

Just make sure to look for and embrace the happy.

Gun Violence, Personal Choice, and America in an Election Year

OK, we know what happened...

So, I won't go into the details. There.

Now.

*sigh*

First, I would like you to watch this video about the Winnendon school shooting in 2009. I found it in Patton Oswalt's Facebook feed (I freaking lurve Patton Effing Oswalt). Pay really good attention starting at 1:34.

Now. I will let that point sit on its own. Please don't go all 24-hour-news-cycle on us. We don't need to see his face. We don't need to hear nonsensical eyewitnesses give their side of the story using hyperbole and incorrect gun terms. We don't need news readers making comments of a technical nature.

We do need facts. We do need what happened (as far as we can tell). We do need who did it (as far as we can tell). We do need to know what we need to do next (lock our doors, pack our bags, hug our families).

We do need restraint. 

We do need to get on with the other things going on in the world. This may sound callous, and my heart does go out to the victims, their families, and their friends, but I am glad I have the internet so I could see if there was something else going on in the world.

First Response

I guess you know how I feel about the network coverage. Between the inane rambling of people still on an adrenaline high after surviving the worst shooting since the Va Tech Massacre and the inane rambling of a news anchor who knows next to nothing about guns (I love you, Robin Meade, but you need to get to the range sometime), I was boggled. The only decent eyewitness account I felt was legitimate was that of a combat-experienced Marine who was with his wife. He calmly described what he saw and heard. He didn't exaggerate. He didn't make guesses. He told what he knew.

Sadly, I believe the best journalistic effort of the day came from the Onion, citing an imaginary person as saying "Nothing really surprises me when it comes to this kind of thing anymore. And that makes me feel terrible" and "In exactly two weeks this will all be over and it will be like it never happened."

Yep. This.

The United States of Guns

I'll let most of the pundits go into the facts and figures.

TL:DR - There are more guns in the hands of fewer people now than there have been historically. Violent Crime has been decreasing rapidly. Concealed Carry is available in almost every state (several without permitting).

Let me use my golden, reassuring voice to scare you into buying something.

Since Senator Obama was nominated as the Democratic Party Candidate in 2008, sales of guns and ammunition went up in the mistaken belief President Obama would take all of our guns away because of his following a European socialist who was attempting to ban our guns. I was there and I watched it happen. The last four years saw the gun industry as one of the only recession-proof areas of the economy other than the gold sellers advertising via Glenn Beck. (I do have to admit, I expected the bottom to fall out of the gold market by about 2010-2011... I was wrong)

I like my guns. I like being able to shoot them. I like being able to teach people about the role of firearms in American and World history. I like teaching museum people about firearms (reaaaallll small slice of the Venn diagram there...). I like talking to Gun Guys (and Gun Gals).

However, I also can't stand talking to Gun Guys.

Most Gun Guys I know are great people. Some are religious, some aren't. Most are on the right, some are on the left. Some are active shooters. Some are collectors. Some just buy guns. Most are the salt of the earth. Most are white. Most are upstanding members of their communities. Genuinely nice folk, for the most part.

Sometimes, though, being around guns has placed me in the company of some people I really did not like. Racists, White Supremacists, Anti-Government Conspiracy Theorists, Separatist movement folks, and a few Aryan Nation folks. Real great crowd. Shining examples of a group of otherwise great people. Also, the folks who will easily get on camera because they fit the stereotype.

Stuck on the NRA

Then there is the mix. Good people who are believing everything the NRA is telling them. When pundits mention the core of the Republican Party, they are talking about these people. I have written previously about my feelings on the NRA. I will reiterate that I appreciate the non-lobbying activities - firearms use and safety training, youth shooter programs, and grants for ranges to make improvements, to name a few. As I am happy to share, I am a life member of the NRA. However, I have to admit I giggled when I saw the Onion giving Wayne LaPierre a dig.

Over the last couple of decades, Wayne and his people have been pushing Social Security off of the third rail of the political subway and replacing it with Firearms. For the last 10 years especially, they have made the life of our Congresspeople harder than it already was. Vote the wrong way on a bill and every gun owner in your district will find out. nice.

The NRA, as usual after a situation like this is lying low. They did the same after the Gabby Giffords Shooting - smart move on their part.

Some folks, however, are pointing to a decline in the power of their organization. There are different reasons behind why this may be happening. One is that they are outliving their utility as a result of one success and one failure. The success is that they have pushed back or removed many gun restrictions across the country (including hamstringing the ATF through limiting their investigative power). The failure has been in catching the graying of the gun community too late. The retirees with guns are passing away. The greatest Generation is all but gone. The youth are in single-parent homes with no dads (This is what happens when you believe "Only boys shoot guns"). The majority of our population lives in an urban setting. On the one hand, you have one of the most liberal environments for gun usage. On the other, the percent of the population that does own guns is decreasing.

Worshipping at the Altar

The result of this is that those with guns see themselves surrounded by those without. Tie this with the belief in family, church, and country shared by many of these folks and you get an almost religious fervor that has spread among the gun-owning public.This was best shown through the Pat Robertson-esque comments made by Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert. Referring to our Founding Fathers and asking repeatedly, "Where was God in all of this?" he is searching for ties that aren't there. In asking why no one in that theater was carrying concealed, he is making an assumption of your typical concealed-carry permit holder and the situation in the theater. My money is on Representative Gohmert never having a concealed carry permit.  

I have. After arriving in Wyoming in 2003, I applied for and received my concealed carry permit. That permit allowed me to carry concealed in more than 1/2 of the United States. I regularly did. Even in Cody, Wyoming, I would carry to Wal-Mart, to restaurants, and, yes, to the movies. Why? Because I knew then what some folks are just starting to understand. This can happen anywhere. Statistically, you have a better chance of getting cancer, but there is always that chance.The best training doesn't just teach safety and how to shoot. It teaches you when to shoot and how to determine IF you should shoot. Many was the time at Wal-Mart when I knew that I would not be shooting - I would be grabbing my kids and doing my best Franco Harris impersonation.

Part of the reason I support legal carry is simply that I have met too many idiots with guns. Most of them, fortunately, do not get the concealed carry permit. Sitting in a class for 16 hours (in a lot of states), filling out forms, writing a check, and then waiting is too much for some. Others aren't legal residents of the state in which they live. Some get refused because of a past crime. Some have "issues." These folks decide to carry concealed for reasons unknown. These are the people I worry about. 

And then there are the people like Aurora (I won't call him by name). He picked out what he wanted to do. He picked a great place to attack. He chose a good time to go "in costume." He chose some good weapons for the job. The guns were purchased legally. There were no warning signs (that have been reported). He was not going to be stopped.

Weapons in the Hands of Private Citizens

Even if someone had been carrying (like that Marine I mentioned earlier?), I would expect that their first and best response would have been to get the hell out of Dodge and keep your eyes open. This is due to the stories of the smoke grenade (if that is what it was) and the combination of the Remington 870 and AR-15. If I have a handgun and the other guy has a rifle or shotgun, I am finding hard cover. Why? Because they can do more damage and are more accurate over range.

The larger firearms (and the ones folks tend to freak over) have historically been designed and used for hunting. Even the venerable AR-15 uses a round very similar to small game cartridges. I have an 870. I've shot trap, grouse, and rabbit with it. I would likely own an AR if I had the spare cash. Why - because they can be so heavily modified. Otherwise, there are other firearms that don't look so scary that are more dangerous because that can fire larger ammunition just as fast.

Whether or not we should have these firearms is, to me, not an issue. I believe we have the right, but I would give them all up for a happy peaceful world (this is why I am damned to be a Liberal). The more I have thought about it, though, the more I am surprised the Democratic Party is not on the side of gun rights. This is one of the only rights issues that the Democratic Party does not support. We support the right to choose, the right to love who we want to love, the right to vote, the right to think and worship (or not worship) as we wish. We should be the gun rights party.

The Upshot

I'm just rambling now, but there are bigger issues than gun rights and bans. There is the issue of our society. There is the issue that we have a nation that does not pay attention to mental illness as it should. There is an issue in that our society does not engender more empathy and respect for life. It's not guns, it's not video games, it's not kids underlining 'Eskimo' in their copy of Moby Dick. It's responsibility, it's family, and it's love.

#forgettheshooter

Peace, out.

Differences of Opinion

I've been getting into trouble recently

A few of my Facebook friends... OK, more than a few of my Facebook friends (and a number of my real world friends) are very Conservative. I mean, c'mon, how can you be involved in firearms without knowing some Gun Guys (and if they aren't a conservative bunch, I don't know who is).

I was called out for offending someone with cartoons and posts that made it seem I was trying to say something about them personally. Most of the posts/shares I made were attempts to show the political beliefs I espouse or to ridicule what I see as the low side of both ends of the political spectrum. One cartoon was about the lowest common denominator within a conservative political group (and something I have seen first hand).

I have known your run-of-the-mill Conservatives, religious Conservatives, economic conservatives, some people who are Reagan Republicans, some folks who think of themselves as Reagan Republicans (but aren't), a number of Libertarians, some folks who think of themselves as Libertarians (but aren't), a guy who thinks of himself as the modern incarnation of Theodore Roosevelt (without using the word 'environmental', because, you know, only Liberals have something to do with environmentalism - and, no, he isn't on Facebook), and some folks who make the John Birch Society look like the Socialist Party of America. I have gotten along with them all - granted some better than others. I even changed some minds in the process - while I had mine opened as well.

I myself, as the blog title suggests, am not conservative. Well, not about most issues. I have also started to become less quiet about my beliefs.

Given the various places I have lived and one particular job I had, I now tend to let people know what I am thinking about a political subject. I got tired of having to nod, smile, and say, "Sure" when someone suggested the President was born in another country and how he was going to try to force Socialism on us and take our guns away. In the position I worked, I would likely have lost my job if my political leanings would have been made public.

So, back to Facebook...

Lately, I have been sharing some comics, graphs, and other things that support my worldview. Some people have taken issue with these beliefs and think that because I don't like some of their personal and political beliefs that I do not like them. This could not be further from the truth.

The first thing I ask myself: 

Are you a mean person? I have known Liberals and Conservatives both who were complete asses. There are people across the spectrum who want to hurt people, who don't respect property, and who think of those who disagree with them as lower life forms. A perfect example of this are some (not all) of the Occupy protestors at Zuccotti Park. Closer to home are people who abuse their family members. Douchebaggery knows no political lines.

Next: 

Do you use your worldview to determine how you treat others (coworkers, people on the street, customers, etc.)? For some people this manifests itself through ignoring those who do not attend your church, go to your political club, or attend your rally. An extreme case is robbing and murdering people because you don't like illegal aliens...


If the answer to either is yes, I may not want to be your friend. In a lot of ways this comes down to a simple question: "Would I want to have a beer with you?" In the case of the current presidential election, I could answer yes for either of them. Hell, I would have said yes to Ron Paul. Most of the others would be a solid no.

I can't think of a person I am friends with that I wouldn't want to have a drink with. I hope you feel the same way.

What is my worldview? 

Here is a short list.

(Note - I have the right to add, delete, or modify anything on this list without notice)

• Yes to separation of Church and State (much of the rest hinges on this)
• Yes to Taxes - especially yes to raising the capital gains tax back to pre-Clinton levels; especially no to a flat tax
• Yes to reducing unnecessary governmental spending
• No to continuing tax credits or subsidies for US corporations keeping headquarters/money overseas for tax purposes 
• Yes to Evolution
• Yes to Gay Marriage
• Yes to Social Welfare, unemployment, food stamps, etc.
• Yes to a program allowing illegal immigrants a means to become legal citizens (Not Amnesty)
• Yes to Gun Rights although I agree with background checks at Gun Shows and take issue with some of the nonsense spewed by the NRA
• Yes to cutting back on the military - specifically the F-22 and Joint Strike Fighter
• Yes to Health Care Reform
• Yes to reproduction rights for women. However, while I support the right to it, I do not support the act of abortion. 
• I disagree with the Citizens United Decision
• I believe that many Tea Party members are genuine in their interest to see a better America and that the end result is similar to my image of a better America. Now if we can only agree on how to get to this shared destination
• I believe that the people running the Tea Party (There are several Tea Parties to choose from - each supporting slightly different things) have been very good at pulling the wool over the eyes of the rank-and-file, hiding the corporate/1%er wolf under the sheep's wool of God, Flag, and Family
• I believe that teachers do not get paid enough and if the pay was better, we would get better teachers. 
• I believe that unions are a good thing for disenfranchised workers - until they get too greedy for their own good. 
• I believe that the Amendments to the US Constitution compose a list of our rights, first and foremost. Any attempt to amend it in order to infringe the rights of ANYONE goes against that theme. (There is no such thing as a right to not be offended)
• I believe that the President is an American Citizen, a Christian, and the legal Commander-in-Chief
• I believe that there is no Muslim agenda to destroy America - I am more worried about a Christian Identity member with a U-Haul full of ANFO
• I believe that the 1% is padding their wallets and that the rest of us are suffering as a side effect

Yes. I am the Secular Humanist your parents warned you about.

Health and, well, not...

Clunky title, I know.

I have been finding myself thinking about health for awhile now. Between signs my body has been giving me and signs I have seen in others over the years, I have a nice list of what-not-to-dos.

Unfortunately, while somethings are obvious - don't smoke (will likely get a sign someday), don't drink too much (already got a sign a few years back), don't eat too much (trying not to get the sign) - some things are not so obvious.

Although a lot of diseases have their known causes, there are others. The problem with these is that you could be doing everything right and you can still get it - certain kinds of cancer fall into this category. The one at the top of my mind right now is ALS - Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis - also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease.

Oddly enough, this leads me to food...

---

About a year ago, I had some huevos rancheros. best. huevos. rancheros. ever.

I was on a road trip across the Southwest. It was past lunch and we were hungry. It was also Sunday afternoon in Gallup, New Mexico. The offerings were fast food, Chinese buffet and what appeared to be a "homestyle" diner (read: bland, pre-packaged, oily, and overcooked food fit for a retirement home). As I have had most of the fast food in Gallup over the years and I know better than to chance a buffet of any kind on the road, we chose the diner... the Route 66 Railway Cafe.

As soon as I walked in, I changed my mind. I smelled the authenticity. I saw the plates on the tables. I read the look of smug satisfaction on the faces of the diners. As soon as I read the menu, I knew.

I wanted the huevos. It was a late lunch, but it's always a good time for huevos.

So, one piping hot cup of coffee later, the huevos showed up (with green sauce, of course). My travel companion spent the next half hour laughing as I "Mmmm"ed and "Ohhhh"ed through the plate (did I mention it was good?). We had a great time complimenting the food, the coffee, and my error of judging the book by its cover. I will never forget that lunch.

We left, heading east. A few hours later, we stopped at Cline's Corner. We were waiting for the vehicle we were traveling with - it had developed issues coming through Albuquerque. We decided to go in, sit down, have a 10-100, and a milkshake. best. milkshake. ever. Again, this made all the more enjoyable for the company.

I was regaled with tales of a lifetime of stops at Cline's Corner - all the way back to the late 1940s on old Route 66 in a Plymouth sedan with the windows rolled down - no air conditioning back then, you know. Many other trips occurred over the decades with her folks and her brother. Years later, these trips were her and her dogs.

This visit with me was her last stop at Cline's.

---

The reason for our trip was to bring my mom back home. Not eight months earlier, she had been diagnosed with ALS. When the diagnosis was made, everything started to add up. Little things here and there - at one time played off to allergies, asthma, arthritis, and other ailments - were now easily explained. As near as we can guess, ALS had started to show up in our lives two years prior - maybe three.

Within a few months of the diagnosis, she needed a walker on occasion. By Easter of last year, we borrowed a wheelchair so she could enjoy the Musical Instrument Museum in Scottsdale, AZ. The first day of this move, she drove from Scottsdale to Payson, Arizona. I think that is the last time she drove more than 30 minutes.

As of this Memorial Day weekend, it will be one year back in our hometown. She is now living with my sister and is in hospice status. Spirits are high. Friends and family are near. Laughter is still in her eyes.

---

So. Here we are. ALS is on our mind. I wrote this partially to let some air out but to also try to do the little bit that I can to raise awareness of the disease. Those who are friends of mine on Facebook have seen my profile pic for the month of May. It is the symbol for the ALS Association. They have been great to my mom and our family. The services and support they provide have been wonderful at a time when we needed them. The support groups associated with them have been helpful for my family, as well, for the advice in dealing with bureaucracy and anything else associated we just don't get.

If nothing else, learn the signs and symptoms of ALS. There is not a cure yet, but there are some treatments and clinical trials that are looking good. It's only too late if it is too late.