It's Patriot's Week... Again...

I dread this week EVERY. YEAR.

Concerns and alerts for copycats, follow-ons, protest actions, and other criminal activities come out, have to be tracked and vetted, and lead to publicized activity. Today, tens of thousands of school children were kept home as the result of a fangirl from Florida (really, "A Florida Woman" was involved?). She went to Colorado as part of a roadtrip to commemorate the 1999 Columbine Shooting... with a shotgun...

This week would be sunshine and moonbeams if it weren't for some of the asshats who have popped into the timeline. Our nation's history kicked into high gear with events in Massachusetts nearly 250 years ago. And now every Tom, Dick, and Adolf wants to get in on the act. They have turned Patriot's Day (and Week) into a shitshow of anti-government, white-supremacist, and worship of teen angst.

The Story So Far

1775: April 19 - The Battles of Lexington and Concord - remembered by most of us as the opening shots in our Revolution; Remembered by 3%ers and other miscreants who purposefully misremember history as the rallying point behind which we once overthrew the yoke of tyranny... and we can do so again...

Just your regular, everyday militia members wearing bullshit gear, having done bullshit training, and believing in, you guessed it, bullshit. (photo PBS)

1889: April 20 - Birthday of a certain person with a tiny mustache, a penchant for blaming the problems of his country on an entire segment of the population (and later murdering them), and the target of lampooning by british comedians. Some of his followers are referred to later as "really nice people" by an American President.

1985: April 19 - Siege of The Covenant, The Sword, and the Arm of the Lord begins in Arkansas; The CSA surrenders 2 days later. White supremacists, Christian Identity, AND anti-government? From an organization with the initials "CSA"... hunh... never would have guessed.

1993: April 19 - Siege of the Branch Davidian complex in Waco, Texas, ends.

1995: April 19 - Murrah Federal Building Bombing in OKC. This event led me to begin following and studying the related subjects of White Supremacy, Christian Identity belief, and anti-government activity more than anything else. I had stayed in OKC just a couple nights before this happened and I wanted to understand why.

1999: April 20 - Columbine - I could have been one of these kids in another life - on both sides of it. I knew kids like the shooters. One of my best friends has kids who have graduated/will be graduating from Columbine. This date ALWAYS ratchets up her blood pressure.

2000: April 22 - Elian Gonzalez Raid - A surprisingly large number of anti-government activists look to this event as Federal overreach, an evil government interfering in parental/family rights, and the last gasp of the Clintons kowtowing to a Communist Cuba (seriously? we are still worried about the evils of Communism?). It's not as if we would want another country to return a child removed from America or anything...

2007: April 16 - VA Tech shooting. Yes, Virginia, there are shooters on college campuses.

2013: April 15 - Boston Marathon Bombing; Bomber killed 4 days later. Take note - this is the only thing on this list that doesn't involve Christian Americans. Yes, I am using the term "Christian" loosely... but it stands out. Oh, and before you call me out on Item Two on this list, check some of his current followers... especially those who showed up in Charlottesville...

I still don't get it.

I really want to, but I don't understand. I really wish I did. Then we could move towards working on these issues...

May this week be quiet.

Manliness and California

OK. I have stayed silent on this long enough.*

I have known too many women who have been the recipient of mistreatment, negative attention, slut-shaming, and harassment, at best; abuse, violence, and rape, at worst. This is not the result of their actions as people. This is the result of the choices of others. These choices deriving from a belief that women should bend to their will and be the object of whatever attention the others choose to give.

I have known too many 'men' who act like this because we are still raised that women are chattel and somehow become our property once we enter into any sort of a relationship. (I use 'men' in quotes simply to denote that I do believe 'manliness' is very much a concept that drives a lot of this behavior)

I am hacked off at any of the attempts I have seen to make it sound like all men are guilt-free because "it wasn't us, it was him" (check out #notallmen on Twitter). Bullshit.

It was us. We may have not pulled the trigger, but it was us who allow others to act this way. The same self-perpetuating nonsense allows white men (of which I am one) to continue to fail to realize that we ARE a privileged group. This is not a case of white guilt, male guilt, or any other guilt. This is an acknowledgement that there are differences within our society - differences in how we are treated.

I have never been singled out by a cop, a clerk, or anyone else because of my skin, my sex, my dress, or my mannerisms. I have never had to be in fear of my safety because someone had any sort of intentions, sexual or otherwise. I never had to worry about how I dressed and how that would make others perceive me other than in a business sense.

I have been guilty of ogling and making assumptions of women due to their dress and actions. I have been guilty of making advances that were unwanted. After reflection, I realized I was in the wrong. That may have been years ago and miles away, but there are still people who still may feel the effects of  my actions and words. That is where my guilt lies.

What I can do now is show others that it is not OK to let this slide.

A boy in California (yes, I will call him a boy) was turned down by girls. In response to this, he decided he had to go on a shooting spree.

I know he had issues. I know he needed help. However, despite what some pundits have proposed, he didn't need to get laid - or, interpreted in another way, none of the women in his life needed to give in to his desires and give him what he apparently felt he deserved.

If a woman says she does not want you in that way: Let. It. Go.

If she wants to be 'friends': Be. Her. Friend.

Just because you want something and you do not get it, whether a look, a word, a kiss, a feel, or more, it does not mean she is a bitch, a tease, or any of a number of worse words. She is being a person with every right to control what happens to her being. If you choose to act in a manner that forces her to unwillingly give up this control, you are the one in the wrong.

If you are preventing someone from exercising their control over themselves (or you are enabling this), you are part of the problem. You do not have the right to someones agency. You have not "put in the hours". You have not "earned it".

You only have to acknowledge that the issue may not be with them. The issue may be with you.

Either way, driving around town with a gun and bad intent is not an appropriate response.

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* Although I do discuss a male-female power relationship in this post, this type of situation can be present in any type of relationship, whether straight, gay, or otherwise. In all of these relationships, believing others are less can only lead to bad things. All of this article is a poorly-written attempt to straighten out some of this view in my own head. I can't guarantee any logical clarity or simplicity of view.